If you are tired of having your sexual needs met halfway or not at all by your partner, then it is time to share your wants and desires to your mate. Please realize that your partner is unable to read your mind so you get what you put in to your bedroom communication–basically if you say less you get less. If you say more then you will get more. So if you are ready to move from a 1 to 10 then make sure that these rules are being followed by both parties. Remember, anything below a 6 is an area which needs improvement.
1. Tell your partner what turns you on: Your partner may not be a psychic or a palm reader so do not expect for your partner to know what you want when you want it. Positions and sexual conversations that may have worked last month may not work the following month.
2. Be a team player: Remember that it takes two people to have sexual intercourse and not one. You should not always be the receiver while your partner is always giving. Be willing to allow yourself to take some risk and be the dominant love maker. It will help to even out the playing field for later dates.
3. Do not rush intimacy: There will be days when you have to have a quickie due to time constraints. However, when you do have time to make love to your partner treat it more like a marathon and less like a sprint. Your partner will feel loved and respected more when you take time to explore his/her body as he/she explores yours. Make love like you are traveling around the world without any financial limits. You would take in all the sites and explore every location as money and time would not be an issue, correct? Then why not do the same when making love to your mate. Do not allow time constraints to dampen the mood.
4. Leave your ‘To Do List’ at the front door: The worse thing you can do is think about all of the stuff you have to get done while you are in the middle of making love to your mate. Your mate is working hard to satisfy your needs while you are checking to see if you missed anything on your to do list. If you want to take your sexual intimacy level to a higher platform then place love making with your significant other as one of the highest priorities if not the highest priority on that To Do List. Otherwise get it everything done prior to hitting the sheets.
5. Talk less and moan more: Sometimes when you are having an idle conversation while making love it spoils the mood. If you must ask questions from your mate regarding how well you are doing listen more for the moans and less of the actual conversation. Your partner will let you know if you are “hitting” it in the right spot based on the pitch and intensity of the moan.
6. Take a pause for the cause: If your partner is no longer lubricated or cannot get another erection, then maybe it is time to take a break and regroup. Our bodies were not designed to go on 10 round sexual journeys within a two hour span. Learn to improvise when everyone has headed south for awhile. In fact this minor drought will afford you a wonderful opportunity to cuddle or add some oils or food to the bedroom. Before you know it you’ll both be ready to hit the sheets again.
7. Stay clear of the “what’s my name” game: All too often couples get into this battle of who does it belong to or what’s my name. If you know that you are not being faithful to your mate in thought or deed then stay clear of using first names. Instead use the pet name you call your significant other by. Otherwise you may end up finding yourself out the door with no clothes on or having your mate giving you the silent treatment for a week or more. Once again stay clear of the name game unless you are in a committed relationship with your partner.
8. Cuddle afterwards: Cuddling is a wonderful way to share with your partner those things that satisfied you in the bedroom. It also gives you a chance to bond with your mate and tell your mate how much they are honored and appreciated by you. This is not the time to talk about what is on the ‘to do list’ or who you need to call next.
9. Leave that phone alone: One thing that can really destroy the mood is to pick up the telephone and say “hello.” You have totally disrespected your partner and told them through your actions that their presence is insignificant to you in comparison to the other person on the phone. Don’t get me wrong if you know before hand that a friend or family member is in crisis then I would answer the phone. However, I would let my partner know prior to engaging in intimate behaviors what is going on within your life. If the only reason why the person is calling you is to shot the breeze, then tell the person on the phone that you are busy and you will get back with them at YOUR earliest convenience (I added this clause as there are some people who will call you within 5-10 minutes after you have told them you will call back later). If they continue to engage in a conversation and not respect your wishes then introduce them to your best friend, dial tone.
10. Have fun and be creative: Every time you make love to your mate, you don’t always have to do the missionary position. If you are not freaky and the karma sutra is not for you then make up your own moves. I have found that the greatest sexual positions are the ones that were made up in the heat of passion. What I like most about creating my own is that you can say a position–oh let’s say the “t-bone”– to your mate and no one around you would have a clue what you were talking about except your partner. Before you know it your mate will be asking for the check and calling the evening short as your partner has now come down with an unexpected cold.
So whatever you do make sure that you make every effort to communicate your needs to your partner. It will make for a happier and healthier sex life. Go ahead and give it a try as the only thing it may do is strengthen the power of your relationship.